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One of the most powerful tools you have is forgiveness.

But most of us never learn how to use it.

Instead, we hold onto grudges, we blame other people for where we are in life right now, we point fingers at our parents and say it’s all their fault.

Grudges produce a ton of stress.

Want stress relief? Learn to forgive.

This weekend, since it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow, forgive your mother.

Forgive her for not being perfect. Forgive her for the mistakes she made. Even if she was the worst mother on the block, simply forgive her. Bless her with a prayer of gratitude such as, “I am thankful that you were my mother, and I know you did the best you could with what you knew how to do at the time. I love you and I forgive you.”

Many people hold onto anger after someone dies: how dare you leave me! So even if your mother left too soon, like Bambi’s mother, forgive her for being human and mortal.

As I explain in my book “Forget Your Troubles: Enjoy Your Life Today,” forgiveness doesn’t mean you dismiss harms done or say it doesn’t matter if someone was abusive or cruel. Forgiveness is not the same as saying, “Oh, that’s okay if you hurt me.” That kind of statement shows a lack of self-worth, and is part of the pattern of codependency in which you look for another person to make you feel whole.

Forgiveness breaks the chains that bind you to the past and keep you feeling stuck.

A quick way to feel free and liberated is to readily forgive anyone and everyone who has ever stepped on you or cut you off from what you thought was rightfully yours. Once you are free, you have all that energy to devote to today! You can live your life, easy in your own skin and happy.

Try it. Right now, tell your mother: “I forgive you for the things I felt you did wrong, and I hope you’ll forgive me for the times I hurt you.”

If your mother is no longer living, light a candle, hold an image of your mother in your mind or look at her picture and say the statement of forgiveness out loud, either using the above sentence or using your own words.

It’s amazing how powerful the statement is. You will suddenly realize that you’ve been carrying around a huge boulder on your shoulders… and now you are free.

your happiness guru,

Evelyn

P.S. Be sure to visit my bookstore and see all the helpful products that are now available for instant access. I recently added several new ones!

Rob Britt

May 8, 2010 at 10:02 am

Yeah, best to let go of the baggage and move on. It goes for Moms and anyone else, but family is what you have for life.
good thoughts… thanks

Melanie Kissell

May 8, 2010 at 11:17 am

Very timely and wonderful thoughts, Evelyn!

One of the very best sermons from the pulpit I ever heard was delivered by Rev. Philip Longfellow Anderson. He passed away several years ago but I can still hear his words. He was, without hesitation, the best speaker and storyteller I have ever known.

It was his sermon on “Forgiveness”. Rev. Anderson preached that forgiveness is the hardest thing to do but it’s the one thing that will empower you and change your life forever if you’ll just have the courage to forgive.

Thanks for taking me back a bit in time and for sharing your wisdom about forgiveness!
Melanie