Soft animals and soft textures seem to invite our touch.
We reach out, wanting to caress the warm softness and take pleasure in the feeling.
We put aside our thinking, our worries and troubles. Some part inside knows that the warm gentle touch has healing properties that we need!
Our whole being is in a sensory moment, desiring the sensation of softness and comfort.
Maybe you’re reminded of a soft cuddly toy you had as a child, or a puppy you used to hold and pet.
But what happens when you try to touch a cactus?
Even the thought of it probably made you recoil. You remember at once the time you brushed against a cactus and the spines scratched or stuck you. Or you recall the warnings you’ve heard: don’t touch a cactus.
We often meet people in our lives who are in a cactus-mode — they are prickly and nasty and in a foul mood. Maybe most of the time! But underneath, deep inside the self-protective layers of spines to keep people away, lives a soft and vulnerable being that really does want to “touch” in human relationships.
Next time you are in a disagreement or trying to have a conversation with someone who is resisting every positive thing you suggest, try the power of touch. Simply touch their forearm. This isn’t the time to grab someone’s hand or try to hug. Treat them the way you would a shy animal, one you know will bolt if you try to pet it too abruptly. The person with you might not physically bolt, but a too-quick physical connection could cause them to emotionally run away from you — and that will show as they “shut down” to what you are saying.
There is tremendous power in making a personal connection one-on-one, but it should always be appropriate in nature. I remember a recent time when it was very reassuring — I was at the dentist, and about to undergo a procedure I really didn’t want to have done. My dentist spoke softly and reassuringly, and then he lay a hand briefly on my shoulder. That connection, although momentary, made a huge difference to me. It created a human bond between us, and invited me to trust that I was literally in good hands.
See where you can use the power of a reassuring touch to spread happiness, joy and stress-free living with every person you meet.
After the first few awkward tries, it will come more naturally to touch someone’s arm as you speak to them — not grabbing them or taking over their personal space, but merely a brief touch that says “I care about you as an individual.”
your happiness guru,
Evelyn Brooks