Are You a Menace to Family and Friends?

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Usually when we view someone as being a menace to society, we picture a reckless driver, a con artist, a criminal.


But without realizing it, we can actually be a true menace to the people we care about the most, and we do this with our attitude and opinions of them. If your friend shares with you that she plans to study and then take a test to get a license or certification that will help her advance at work, you have the choice to be supportive and encourage her to keep going with the plan, or to do little things that undermine her confidence and resolve. Some people are so adept at killing other people’s dreams that all they need is a quick shift in body language, a raised eyebrow, a little quirk of the mouth that says “Yeah, right, like you’ll manage to pull that off– and even if you do, it’s not going to get you anywhere.”


Take a look at how you treat your friends and whether you are truly supportive in all the ways that you would like others to be supportive of you and your goals and projects.  And then look at what you are allowing from the people around you. Are you letting them stomp on your life and sneer at your efforts? It might not be done overtly, but we are energetic beings, we sense the vibration of contempt, doubt and worry very easily and absorb it, unawares.


When we learn how to pay better attention to how we feel, we’ll be able to detect those times when our sudden drop in mood or enthusiasm can actually be traced to what someone else just said or did to discourage us. Once you get in the habit of that noticing, then you can take the next step which is to not allow others to influence you so much. Learn to stand up for your own convictions.


We also do a lot of damage to each other when we worry incessantly. If your kids are late getting home, do you instantly picture an accident? If your dog sneezes, do you groan, assuming he’s sick and you’ll have to deal with vet visits and expensive medications? If your friend shares a confidence about a fight with her mate, do you picture her on the road to the divorce court? When we hold negative energy around our family members and friends, we affect them. We influence their health and happiness in ways that we cannot fathom with the Old Worldview that says life is just happenstance and all you can do is play the hand you were dealt.


Florence Scovel Shinn relates this story in her book The Secret Door to Success, “I knew a woman who told me she always kept a long crepe veil handy in case of funerals. I said to her, ‘You are a menace to your relatives, and are preparing to hurry them all off, so that you can wear the veil.’ She destroyed it.”


Look for the ways that you are keeping negativity “handy” when it comes to the lives of people you care about, and the world in general. And notice how much you do that regarding your own life, too. Where are you tucking away your “back up plan” in case what you want doesn’t pan out? When we constantly hedge our bets, we’re actually playing against ourselves and our happiness.  Learn to access the power of the New Worldview by learning more about the laws of the mind.