What's your priority?

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If you have a specific question about stressful relationships, go to askevelynbrooks.com and post it there — I’ll try to answer it here in a blog post this month! Follow me on Twitter to track my blog posts and other announcements– http://twitter.com/EvelynBrooks

What’s the priority in your relationship?

Being the one who’s right all the time? Or being happy?

In a stressful relationship — whether it’s at work, home or in the community — you have the choice of establishing your personal priority. What is it that you hope to gain from this particular relationship? Has it changed over the years but you’re still going at it with the same old tools, expecting different results?

Take a look at the results you are getting — whether you like it or not, you have something to do with these results. Even though it can be ego-satisfying to point to the other person and put all the blame at their feet when things are not going so well, you have a part in it. Just by being there, you have a part!

Decide today what you are going to focus on as your priority in your key relationships. If you want to be right, and you refuse to give that up as a goal, then be prepared for the other person to resent and resist you.  If, however, you are willing to shift your priority so that the harmony of the relationship and the success of the partnership is the shared goal, then you will learn to think before you speak, and weigh your words. You can rephrase something so that it’s a request instead of a bossy demand. You can ask “How can I help make this happen?” instead of ordering someone to do things for you, or complaining that they “never” do anything right and you have to fix all their mistakes.

Many times, it’s all about shifting your attitude and making small changes. See what a difference it makes in your relationships if you approach the other person with the idea of wanting a win-win situation, instead of being determined that you’ll get your fair share. Focus less on yourself and more on others — that’s a quick key toward lasting happiness and stress reduction.

your happiness guru,


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