Many times, it’s the inability to open your mouth and simply ask for what you want!
Fear the other person will get mad or will say “no” often stops us in our tracks. But if you are waiting for them to read your mind and magically know what you want (and then give it to you), you are setting yourself up to feel angry, resentful and neglected.
The simple solution: ASK for what you want! Here are tips for doing it:
- Be specific. Think it through ahead of time so that you know what you want to say, and then keep it simple.
- Don’t apologize for asking. You have the right to make requests in any relationship, even if it is someone in authority whom you are afraid of
- Be polite when you ask, but without groveling. Smile. Make a friendly connection with this person, don’t just bark out a demand.
- If you are asking for something that will mean a big shift in the relationship, don’t insist on an immediate answer. Say something like, “I know I’m asking you to do things differently, so I’m happy to give you time to think it over. Let’s talk about this more tomorrow (or name a date).” Avoid leaving it so open-ended that your request simply drifts away into never-never-land where it doesn’t have to be addressed.
The process of speaking up even when you are fearful will help you gain courage for the next time. Practice, practice, practice! It does become easier to ask for what you want. And you’ll wonder why you waited so long to do it.
Now I’m going to ASK you to do something for me. 🙂 If you find this helpful or think your friends would enjoy it, please use the “Share” buttons to pass it along to your friends.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that you took the time to stop by.
your happiness guru,