Weekend Be-Happier Tip — Ask for what you want


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What’s standing in the way of you and happiness?

Many times, it’s the inability to open your mouth and simply ask for what you want!

Fear the other person will get mad or will say “no” often stops us in our tracks. But if you are waiting for them to read your mind and magically know what you want (and then give it to you), you are setting yourself up to feel angry, resentful and neglected.

The simple solution: ASK for what you want! Here are tips for doing it:

  • Be specific. Think it through ahead of time so that you know what you want to say, and then keep it simple.
  • Don’t apologize for asking. You have the right to make requests in any relationship, even if it is someone in authority whom you are afraid of
  • Be polite when you ask, but without groveling. Smile. Make a friendly connection with this person, don’t just bark out a demand.
  • If you are asking for something that will mean a big shift in the relationship, don’t insist on an immediate answer. Say something like, “I know I’m asking you to do things differently, so I’m happy to give you time to think it over. Let’s talk about this more tomorrow (or name a date).”  Avoid leaving it so open-ended that your request simply drifts away into never-never-land where it doesn’t have to be addressed.

The process of speaking up even when you are fearful will help you gain courage for the next time. Practice, practice, practice! It does become easier to ask for what you want. And you’ll wonder why you waited so long to do it.

Now I’m going to ASK you to do something for me.  🙂  If you find this helpful or think your friends would enjoy it, please use the “Share” buttons to pass it along to your friends.

Thank you so much! I appreciate that you took the time to stop by.

your happiness guru,

Evelyn

Comments (10)

Pamela Evbota

August 6, 2010

Hi Evelyn,
I have noticed that most time we stand in our own way of happiness. We dont say want we want. We are hoping someone reads our minds. This happens in relationships we are afriad to say how we truely feel or how we want to be treated.
Like you said 'practise, practise' and never be afraid to speak for your self.

Pamela Evbota

August 6, 2010

Hi Evelyn,
I have noticed that most time we stand in our own way of happiness. We dont say want we want. We are hoping someone reads our minds. This happens in relationships we are afriad to say how we truely feel or how we want to be treated.
Like you said 'practise, practise' and never be afraid to speak for your self.

Evelyn Brooks

August 6, 2010

It is hard for a lot of people, particularly women who were raised to be "good girls" to actually speak up! Thanks for your comment, Pamela. I'm glad you are here.
Evelyn

Evelyn Brooks

August 6, 2010

It is hard for a lot of people, particularly women who were raised to be "good girls" to actually speak up! Thanks for your comment, Pamela. I'm glad you are here.
Evelyn

Ash Silva

August 7, 2010

I believe happiness is not only what we all want most for our own lives but for those we love too
Thanks for being a stand for others finding theirs Evelyn, Ash

Ash Silva

August 7, 2010

I believe happiness is not only what we all want most for our own lives but for those we love too
Thanks for being a stand for others finding theirs Evelyn, Ash

Evelyn Brooks

August 7, 2010

Hi Ash! Great to see you here. It means a lot to me to be associated with people like you who are also trying to help others "live their dream"! Evelyn

Evelyn Brooks

August 7, 2010

Hi Ash! Great to see you here. It means a lot to me to be associated with people like you who are also trying to help others "live their dream"! Evelyn

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