Weekend Be-Happier Tip #29


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This weekend’s tip? Mend fences.

And you won’t even need your toolbox to do this.

All of us have a “private” sign on our personal boundary fence or gate. You might let a few special friends or the person you are in an intimate relationship into your private area where you feel too vulnerable to have these particular thoughts and feelings on display for the public.

But what happens when you’ve had a rift with someone? Maybe they encroached on your boundary line without permission and you felt assaulted or insulted. Maybe you said or did something that broke through their boundaries. And now you aren’t on good terms with each other.

This happens far too often in families and old friendships where you know just enough about each other to push your buttons and take offense easily.

If you really want to lead a happy and worry-free life, you need to take care of mending fences that have been trampled on or damaged.

Here are some tips to get you started:

  • Think of the  people you have bad feelings about – and realize that there’s work to be done.
  • It doesn’t mean you are trying to mend the relationship and get it back on it’s old footing. You may realize that will never happen again. But if you harbor ill will toward someone, that stress is killing you and you need to address the issue so you can move on.
  • Call or write the person. Be the one to reach out a hand. Offer forgiveness, and ask it for your own mistakes.
  • Avoid the temptation to put all the blame on them. Be fair and be willing to take equal responsibility.

What ways have you discovered to make amends in order to set things right in a relationship?

your happiness guru,

Evelyn Brooks

Comments (6)

Kathryn Griffiths

July 16, 2010

I found that one way to mend a fence is to ask the person you may have injured, "What can I do to make this right with you." People have different ideas of what it would take to mend the relationship. Often times I find that just asking what I can do...mends the problem.

Some folks don't want to mend it... or the timing is wrong. In that case... I back off until there is a more appropriate time.

Thanks for the post.

Kathryn Griffiths

July 16, 2010

I found that one way to mend a fence is to ask the person you may have injured, "What can I do to make this right with you." People have different ideas of what it would take to mend the relationship. Often times I find that just asking what I can do...mends the problem.

Some folks don't want to mend it... or the timing is wrong. In that case... I back off until there is a more appropriate time.

Thanks for the post.

martha giffen

July 16, 2010

Life is too short to have burned bridges! Relationships change. See the beauty and move on :)

martha giffen

July 16, 2010

Life is too short to have burned bridges! Relationships change. See the beauty and move on :)

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