My topic every day this month is “stressful relationships”— Please go to askevelynbrooks.com and type in the box what your biggest stress is right now, especially if it’s related to a relationship. I’ll answer your questions here in a blog post! (And don’t worry, it’s confidential, so I won’t use your name or email address.)
Mostly yummy? Sweet with only a tart cherry or two?
Or has something gone so wrong that an accidental gulp makes you want to spit it out, wondering how come it’s so sour … stale … rancid… or even bitter?
It’s nice to pause for a moment and think how pleasant it would be if “Life” allowed us to simply send back our order and ask them to make it over again! We’d say, “I thought this was what I wanted, but it’s not that great after all.” Or, “I knew this would be kind of sour, but I thought I could handle it — I don’t want to start over, so could you fix it up and get it back to me ASAP?”
But instead, we are faced with the reality that something about the relationship is not to our liking and so now what do we do about it! Here are the choices as I see it:
- Keep on fighting and squabbling all the time (and everyone is miserable)
- Stuff it all inside, claim that everything is “fine” (and watch your stress skyrocket)
- Pretend “something” will happen to magically make things better if you just keep ignoring the sour events
- Throw in the towel — break up and move on to someone else (although you’ll pick the same type of person if you haven’t resolved the underlying issues)
- Look at it from a new angle and try something dramatically different
If you feel this relationship still has enough “sweet” aspects going for it, it’s worth trying to get past the “sour,” isn’t it? I’ll give you some ideas tomorrow on exactly how you can do that.
Meanwhile, please share and comment — What do you do with a relationship or friendship that’s too good to dump but too stressful to accept “as is”?
your happiness guru,