Stressful Relationships


Share this :   | | | |

Starting with today’s post, I’ll be participating in another 30-day blog challenge where I’ll post a new blog every day this month.

I’ll be giving lots of tips on reducing stress.

My focus for June is “stressful relationships”

Please go to askevelynbrooks.com and type in the box what your biggest stress is right now, especially if it’s related to a relationship.

I’ll be answering your questions here all month.  Don’t worry, I never mention your name or email address– so it’s completely confidential!

One of the biggest problems people have again and again in relationships is difficulty communicating with each other.

In healthy communication, you say what you mean and the other person actually understands both what you’ve said and the intention behind it. If not, they simply ask a question and you discuss things harmoniously. Hooray! We understand each other and we get along, and we manage to keep the relationship cordial, loving and smooth the bulk of the time.

But… in relationships that are not going so great, we end up talking at cross-purposes instead of clearly stating what we want, or what we’d like to see happen next. Many times, this comes about  because of trying to “control” how the other person is going to react to what you say. You don’t want them to get mad or upset, so you talk in a roundabout way, you bury your request in the midst of a lot of nervous chatter or explanation, and so it is no surprise that they respond to something you’ve said that wasn’t even what you wanted to say and you end up off on a tangent!

For today, try this:  think out what you want to say to someone you usually have problems communicating with. Write down the key elements or points you want to convey. Keep it simple, and keep it short. Don’t get into big speeches where you end up rambling and the other person tunes you out — they will hear a word or two, latch onto that, and you’ll never convince them you only said “that” as an example. All of a sudden the conversation shifts and you end up defending yourself.  So, make a simple statement, briefly explain your position and then politely ask the other person for what you want. Go ahead, try communicating more clearly in short sentences and see if you are “heard” more easily.

your happiness guru,

Evelyn

Leave a reply