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Happy Independence Day to my fellow Americans. 🙂

Whether you’re here in the States or not, take a moment and think about all the gifts that freedom can bring.  In a relationship, if you feel free and independent, then you can enjoy a reciprocal give-and-take closeness.

On the other hand, if your marriage or other relationship tends to be codependent, you probably hesitate to speak frankly, out of fear you will set off the other person’s anger. Living in thrall to someone’s temper is no fun. You end up walking on eggshells, afraid to truly be yourself at any time. Your eyes are on them like a hawk, trying to decipher what they meant by a certain cutting remark, or trying to anticipate if they might be in a good mood later on so you can have a pleasant evening or weekend together.

Today, strike out for your rights to be an adult with an opinion of your own and the right to speak up. Do it nicely, but stop hiding who you are out of fear they’ll blow up and criticize you.  Here’s a little inside tip: if they feel like blowing up, they’ll find an excuse to do so.  The longer you hold back being yourself and being authentic, the more you get used to a diminished life.

And that’s no way to live: you have enslaved yourself to someone else’s moods and anger. Just because the bonds are invisible doesn’t mean you are not chained to a tyrant.

Learn more about breaking free from stress — it’s a killer. Go to my new site and see what it’s all about. I think you’ll like it —

your happiness guru,

Evelyn Brooks

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