Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!
Sometimes the most stressful relationship is one that goes way back to childhood. If you didn’t have the best of relationships with your dad, take today to mend it. Find the joy in the relationship, even if there were a lot of difficult times between you.
My father died in 1992, but that doesn’t stop me from pausing to reflect on all the things he did to provide for the family and try to be a good father. Regardless of the fact that he was often gruff, unapproachable and impossible to talk to… he was still my father. And it’s up to me to decide what I want to focus on about the relationship, even though it is not one that is ongoing in the sense of seeing each other or talking on the phone to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. I get to choose between dredging up old memories that are unpleasant and grouse to myself that I was unlucky and other people had or have much better dads, OR I can look at the reality of the long years I knew him, and all the things that went on in his life and mine. And I can be grateful for the gifts of the spiritual connection.
So if you have a less-than-perfect relationship with your father, I invite you to take ten minutes today and go on a “walk” with him. If he is still living, take him on a real walk or talk to him on the phone. If he is not physically in your life circle today, make this a virtual encounter. In any case, I suggest you cover the following points during this joyful walk together:
- Tell him that you love him, even if you’ve never heard him say those words to you.
- Tell him that you are grateful he is your father, and thank him for all that he tried to do
- Forgive him for the all-too-human failings and mistakes he made
- Remind him that he is a role model for you, and that you will emulate the things he did well, and you will also learn from his mistakes so you don’t have to repeat them
- Promise him that you won’t forget him
You will probably feel a huge load of stress falling away from you as you go through this process. And now the healing can begin.
your happiness guru,