One of the core principles of using the law of attraction to our advantage instead of unconsciously magnetizing results that we don’t really like or want, is to understand the power of focusing our thoughts so that we appreciate what we want to experience even before we get it.
When we enter into a practice of being appreciative of all that we already have, we set up an internal vibration that brings us into harmony with a higher quality of circumstances. We thus draw those conditions and circumstances and relationships into our life, simply by being grateful. And then, to take the practice even further, if we start being grateful in advance for all that we desire, being thankful we have already received it, the law of attraction will match our energy with what we want to get.
Here’s an excerpt from my book GET HAPPY TODAY: No More Excuses! that explains more about building up an attitude of gratitude.
Chapter 5 – Action Steps: Cultivate gratitude
- Don’t expect yourself to be a magical mystical being who doesn’t have fear and who dances through life with a song on your lips every moment of every day. That’s not what being “happy no matter what” means. Happiness is an intention to accept the ups and downs with good humor.
- Be grateful for every chance to love someone who is, at this point in time, acting in an unlovable way. Isn’t that what love is all about?
- There’s no mystery to how I went quickly from panic to acceptance in the dentist chair. But there is indeed a secret that I will share with you, and here it is: I used gratitude as my path.
- Make gratitude a habit in your daily life. It works.
- From now on, in everything you do, even the mundane tasks, find ways to say to yourself, “I am grateful for this situation because…” Try it. With practice, it leads you to feel more empowered about your life. As well as happier.
Most of us learned an upside down and backwards approach to life–we learned to look around us and pay attention to what everyone else is doing and saying, and then react to that. We are now learning a much better way of living, from an inside-outward perspective, but it takes a commitment to your own happiness. Why? Because the training is so deeply ingrained in all of us to think the old way that it is habitual. We learn to set goals and work hard and keep our noses to the grindstone, and try our very best to force the results we want.
Here’s an easier and more delightful way: get very clear on what you want, align yourself with the feeling that it is already true in your life, and allow what you desire to flow into your life.
Yes of course it takes practice and persistence. But it is worth it–YOU are worth it. If you’re ready to start living a life that feels joyful and satisfying, learn the 5 steps for your quantum leap in my book YOU WERE BORN TO TRIUMPH: Create a Five-Start Life in Your Quantum Kitchen.
If you’ve ever woken up and groaned softly to yourself, thinking not-so-kindly about the day ahead, then there’s something important missing in your life–and I think I know what it is…
Passion for your own journey!
If your thoughts revolve around the household, the job, the family’s needs…the chores to be done, the errands to be run, the schedules to be kept as orderly and organized as possible–then you are missing out on the key ingredient of a joyful life. Passion.
Yes, that’s the missing link for many people, because from early childhood most of us were taught things like “Be practical,” “Think it through before you make a decision,” and even things like “What will the neighbors think if you do that?”
If you learned to play it safe, I’ve got good news for you: you can ditch the old rule book starting today, and begin truly living a life that is bursting with satisfaction, fulfillment, and personal growth. Why is growth important? Because without it, you’ll stay stuck and the only thing in the world that doesn’t strive for growth is an old rock that’s stuck in the mud of a river bank. Everything else around is is growing, striving to expand, to create more Life.
Parents, a special caution for you, because if you’re moaning and groaning about your life, what is the lesson you are teaching your children? Unfortunately, you’re modeling behavior that they’ll probably imitate later on, even if they make a conscious decision to do otherwise. Remember all the times when you were a teen and vowed “I’ll never be like my parents!” and then as you got older, married, started a family, those trigger points were hit like a hot button, and you reacted from your old training.
There are over 400 articles at my site, and lots of products and e-course programs I’ve created, so I hope you’ll look around and enjoy a new perspective on your life.
If you’re ready to start creating big quantum leaps in your life and zoom ahead to happier results, believe that you can do it. I know you can!
It can be really stressful to be a business owner. And there’s a special kind of added stress if you are in business with your spouse!
Whether you are in the planning stage of a new business that you will run together with your mate, or you’ve been operating a family business for years, you are probably already aware that there can be perils to all that togetherness. As someone who was the “mom” part of a home-based construction company for over twenty years, I am pleased to share with you some of the tricks to keep the romance in your marriage while building a thriving business together.
• Decide up front how many hours each of you will devote to the business on a weekly basis. Keep in mind that if one of you will also have the responsibilities of homemaking and caring for children or elderly parents who live with you, those hours of work count, too, toward the whole.
• Talk it over with your tax advisor before selecting the form of business you will operate: sole proprietorship, LLC (Limited Liability Corporation), corporation, or other entity. At first it might seem totally fair that if your husband is the one who will be out making the deals and meeting with clients, while you stay at home working part-time in the business as the bookkeeper and manager, that it’s no big deal if the business is a sole proprietorship in his name. Think it through, and anticipate if you will still be happy being invisible as the business grows and you take a larger role in administration. Also decide how salaries and wages will be paid to each of you.
• Establish a “date night” each week, preferably for dinner outside the home and not just sprawling on the couch in front of television. Keep the romance alive. As your budget allows, hire a babysitter or trade with other parents in your neighborhood who would like a weekly date night, too. Here’s the secret to making this actually work toward keeping your marriage and romance alive: no discussing business during your date! Seriously, it will feel so tempting to catch up on projects, client updates, brainstorm new business ideas. After all, you’re finally in the car together or on the subway, eating in a restaurant or diner, and it seems almost like a waste of valuable business-owner-time to not spend at least part of your evening on catching up. But make it a strict rule, and keep to it.
• Instead of allowing business to encroach on personal time together, set up a weekly status meeting for business projects. Depending on whether both of you are working in your home office, or one of you is out in the field, try to schedule this for daytime hours, perhaps during Friday lunch time. Just as you keep your date night for refreshing your romance, make this business meeting strictly about issues involving the projects you are working on together as mom-and-pop.
• You may wish to also schedule phone calls with each other in a businesslike way when it involves the business, and not just call to chat and then “Oh by the way…” and rattle off a lot of business-related items. Text or call and agree on a time to go over necessary updates, and also for practical home-related tasks like cleaning the garage, fixing the dishwasher, scheduling a car repair. The separation between business and home life is critical in order to not have an unhealthy shift where all you ever talk about is chores and business, and it runs together so that each of you secretly dreads talking to the other because every call turns into an ordeal.
• When your focus is on building a business, it can be tempting to overlook holidays, three-day weekends, and vacations. After all, when you’re keeping the business thriving, it’s hard to get away, and if business isn’t thriving, you want to stay there and drum up new clients. But that Catch-22 will sap your energy, and make you both wonder why it once seemed a great idea to have a family business.
• Take time for your own activities and hobbies, and quickly discuss any resentments or upsets that arise when one person feels overworked while the other still manages to find free time. Work these things out while the issues are small and manageable. As the old saying goes, Never go to bed angry at each other. That includes not going to bed with a resentment that you are nurturing but feel afraid to bring up. Honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy mom-and-pop establishment, whether you have an office or storefront you go to, or you both work at home.
• Keep up your social life with outside friends, not just business associates, so that you can enjoy the occasional movies or dinner out with other people and talk about topics besides business.
No matter what your work is, it’s important to keep a balance in your life between business and personal goals. Following the tips above should help you keep the lines of communication open with your business partner so that both your marriage and your venture can thrive.
If you need a boost of self-confidence to implement these changes in your family business, check out my Home Training Program “Unstoppable Confidence” CLICK HERE
Feeling overwhelmed and stressed by your home-based business? If you are new to having a business office at home, it’s vital to understand that the productivity practices you may have followed in the corporate or retail world with your former job just don’t cut it when you’re at home all day, with family and business demands around-the-clock. Here’s how to get things going in a healthy, low-stress way, culled from my over thirty years’ of owning and operating businesses based at home.
- Set up a separate office area for your new business or venture. Even if the only thing you do is create a screen by stapling fabric to stretcher bars from the arts and crafts store, hide that desk from view once you are on family or personal time. Otherwise, the mental separation between business and home life can be difficult to establish. At first it will probably seem harmless to have your business sprawl all over your living space, but you’ll soon feel like you just can’t get away from office work the way you could when you got up from a desk or closed your locker at work and waved goodbye to everyone, heading home for some down-time. Even if you occasionally have projects that require you to work longer hours, make sure to keep that dividing line between office and home, particularly if you have set up your work area in the bedroom. When you are wishing to relax at the end of the day, the worst thing to have in front of you is a pile of work that seems to scream at you and criticize you for not working hard enough.
- Schedule your day. Get an agenda or appointment book that is big enough to write activities for both your home and business. It can be tempting to have separate books, one for personal appointments and one for the business, but in my experience, at least, it can become easy to overlook a conflict in your schedule or to inadvertently miss an important meeting. If you use a smart phone or tablet, you may wish to use an online calendar that will keep all your devices up to date. But otherwise, the old-fashioned way of writing in a daily/monthly appointment book will work great. Block out time for working on projects at your desk or in the field, depending on what type of business you have. Avoid the common mistake of thinking that you’ll “find time for what’s important”—time has a mysterious way of vanishing and the hours quickly fill up with minor tasks so that more important work gets shoved off to another day. Post a wall calendar each month that contains daily squares that are large enough for all family members to jot their major activities, so you don’t inadvertently overlook something crucial when you’re making your business appointments. This might seem like an obvious tip, but when you start feeling pulled by the demands of living in your office and having an office in your living space, you’ll find detailed schedules will help keep you sane.
- Get in the habit of separating the chores related to business from the tasks of housekeeping. It takes discipline to do this, but it can be done, and you’ll find more harmony in all areas of your life when you create this kind of balance. Decide each weekend what the most important projects in the coming workdays will be, both for your business success and your happy family. Being super-organized about what your commitments are to both home and business will serve you well in the long-run. It can be very tempting to go from your office area to the kitchen to do a few chores or whisk up a batch of brownies, then rush back to your desk to dash off some emails or make a few calls, but scattered focus will not serve you well. You’ll feel exhausted and resentful, as if your day has no end. Learn how to close your office area down in the evening and whatever hours on the weekend you have decided are for personal activities. A home-based business can become an octopus with its tentacles creeping into every minute of your day if you allow it. Remind yourself that when you were away at a job outside the home, you didn’t interrupt your focus on a project to go do laundry, or see what’s happening on your favorite soap opera. Continue a business-like attitude toward your new home-based operations, and you’ll feel more professional.
- If your business is brand new, decide in advance how many hours you want to devote to the business itself, and keep that commitment, changing it only as you want to, and not because the whole thing has gotten out of hand and demands more of your time than you planned to give it. Keep track of your work hours, so that you can see if you are interrupting business time with snacks, chores, TV, and inadvertently making your business day seem inflated.
- If you have a business partner, such as a roommate or spouse, discuss these productivity tips together, and make decisions as a team about how many hours each of you will devote daily to the projects and tasks each of you are handling. An imbalance in workload breeds resentments and strife. In addition, if one person feels that business calls and needs trump personal life every time, it’s better to find that out up front, and decide on a plan of action. Without a plan in place, it’s all too easy for you to become a slave to a growing business’s incessant demands for 24/7 attention. You may need to compromise on issues such as when do you stop answering the business line in the evening, and start again in the morning. What do you do when clients call at dinner time. These and similar issues sound like they will not be a problem, when they haven’t happened yet, but when clients habitually phone after regular office hours because now they are home from their own office job, you need a plan in place of whether you ignore calls, screen them via voice mail and only return the most important, or whether you take the calls no matter what time of day or day of the week it is.
- As soon as your budget allows, have a separate phone for your business. You might want to have a smart phone so that as your business grows, you can communicate easily via text messages, and manage your email communications while out of the office. It will give you freedom to be able to pick up the kids from school, go to the bank and post office, take care of personal and business errands, while remaining in contact with clients, customers and any business partners you may have. With a separate business phone, you can put that in the charger on silent mode during your downtime so you aren’t leaping to respond every time it rings.
A home-based business offers many advantages, including being home for children and pets, and enjoying your home environment without the added expense of a separate office location. Become the master of your business, no matter where it is located, and it will serve you well.
Ready to start transforming your results? Coach with me! Learn more at BORN TO TRIUMPH COACHING