Feeling stressed with your S.O. or mate? In any relationship, there are at least “two” sides to the situation or challenge you’re facing. Read below to see how you can find them, and why it is crucial that you do it now, without wasting any more time on fruitless arguments and giving each other the cold shoulder of disapproval and disappointment.
The reason I say at least two is that often an impartial person can shed some light on another Point of View that you haven’t considered. That’s why people sign up for coaches and go to therapists, hoping that someone else can reach in and fix what’s going wrong.
But for now, let’s look at how you can reduce your stress level by putting aside what you want for the moment, and instead take a look at what the “he” or “she” in your life is experiencing.
It’s that old saying about “walk a mile in my shoes” — and it really does work to take an honest look at how the situation looks from the other person’s viewpoint.
You will probably discover that this person is not your enemy — both of you DO want to have a happy relationship, but you’ve gotten caught up in that terrible trap of clinging to what you each think you “must” have in order to be happy.
When you look instead at what it would take to make the relationship itself stronger, healthier, happier, all of a sudden a door opens on new opportunities for communication.
- let go of your need to be “right” — abandon that old idea because it is a harmful one and keeps you stuck in thinking only about yourself and your egoistic needs
- ask the other person what they want! Sounds simple, but many times we simply assume we know… and that assumption might be totally wrong
- share from the heart what you are hoping for
- agree to disagree on the aspects that you can’t seem to resolve about the situation
- and agree to work in tandem to build and renew the love and the things that you do agree on
to your health and happiness,