Are you enabling someone?


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The word “enabling” has gotten kind of a bad rap over the years, since it started being used to describe an unhealthy interaction where one person allows or enables the other one to continue with sick behavior such as alcohol or drug abuse.  Being an enabler meant you were not standing up for what you believed in, and felt helpless to change anything about the relationship.

But enabling can also be a good thing! Think of the teacher who enables (allows and encourages) a student to fill out the forms for a college scholarship application.  Or the boss who enables an employee to make more money through profit-sharing based on the value they bring to the company and not just the hours they work.

Take a look at your relationships. If they are stressed out and unhappy, if you have deep-seated resentments against the other person (or people!) the root of the problem could be that you’ve fallen into the trap of the unhealthy type of enabling.

And if you are arguing all the time with your mate or significant other, that behavior can hide what is really wrong, and until you get that issue out into the open, the pointless arguments will continue.

Stop by my site and get a low-cost crash course in communication — stoparguing101.com See you there!

your happiness guru,
Evelyn Brooks

Comments (2)

Beckykate

April 6, 2011

I found this blog because I noticed you used the term "enabling". My blog audience consists of people struggling with alcohol abuse. From my experience, "enabling" sometimes means turning a blind eye to a problem or ignoring a situation - which, technically speaking isn't enabling. I'm all about bring the positive back to enabling someone to be their best, but we should still be aware that people still use the term "enable" to denote allowing another person to do harm to themselves.

Beckykate

April 6, 2011

I found this blog because I noticed you used the term "enabling". My blog audience consists of people struggling with alcohol abuse. From my experience, "enabling" sometimes means turning a blind eye to a problem or ignoring a situation - which, technically speaking isn't enabling. I'm all about bring the positive back to enabling someone to be their best, but we should still be aware that people still use the term "enable" to denote allowing another person to do harm to themselves.

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