I knew where I wanted to go — I needed to back out of the grocery store parking lot so I could go home — but a big delivery truck pulled in behind me. And the driver proceeded to go forward a few feet, then back up a little, then drive a bit forward — again and again, as he tried to line the huge truck up so that he could back into the delivery loading dock. The problem was that he acted like he was all alone in the parking lot. Cars backed up, wanting to turn onto the aisle where I was parked, and I couldn’t back out of my parking space without risking the truck suddenly moving forward and clipping me.

Each time it looked like he had backed enough away from me that I could safely reverse and leave, as soon as I backed up a little bit, he suddenly drove forward, and I had to hastily throw my car in “drive” and scoot back into my space. This went on a few times, until I realized that he simply was not going to let me out. He was determined to position himself to back up the entire length of the parking lot, and it was my bad luck to be in his way.

There was nothing to do. Even though no one was parked directly in front of my car, I couldn’t drive out by going forward because there was a concrete block preventing me from going straight — a handy thing most of the time, because it acts as a “brake” so you don’t nudge into the car on the adjacent aisle that’s parked facing you. To the left of me was the area where you return your shopping carts. To the right of me was another parked car.

I was neatly blocked in. Trapped. At the mercy of the truck driver, who remained intent on going back and forth a few yards at a time. I don’t know if he was an inexperienced driver, if he simply hadn’t noticed me, or if he didn’t care. Hard to tell! This was a huge delivery truck. I’m not talking about a pickup truck that I could’ve scooted around. I couldn’t even see the truck driver’s face — he was so high above me that I was like an ant from his perspective.

The whole incident probably only lasted two or three minutes, but it made me think of how many times in life someone else is blocking you, preventing you from going where you think you need to go at this particular time.

When that happens, pause and think for a moment. Use the time to evaluate where you’re headed and whether it’s still what you want. Don’t just stir in your frustration so that your only thoughts are ones of anger and annoyance that someone has dared to block you. Take it as a gift from the universe, a chance to be sure you are on the right road. You might find that when you stop and look at the situation, you’ll realize that what you had planned isn’t in your best interest — it needs to be tweaked.

As I sat there, waiting for the way to be clear for me to back out and proceed on my way, I realized I could take a shortcut home and just bypass the other store I had planned to go to. It was on my list, but because I had this enforced “breather” I realized I had bought enough items already and could make do without another purchase.

You might find that when you are blocked, it’s a symbol of a much bigger problem you haven’t addressed. Taking time to evaluate the situation will help you see what steps you need to take next, what information you need to bring clarity to the situation, what feedback someone else can give you.

While waiting to back out my car, I noticed the driver waiting for my space was also just waiting, watching the truck driver, apparently patient to let the process unfold (I say “patient” because if they were impatient, they kept it inside — there wasn’t any horn honking, or impatient gesturing or waving at me to hurry and back out!)

Next time you feel blocked, instead of simply reacting with frustration, determine if there’s a hidden message for you. You just might find that you’re being given a tool to help you pick where you should go next, and it might not be exactly where you had initially planned.

Expand your thinking to encompass change, and the times when you are “blocked” will feel empowering instead of annoying.

your happiness guru,

Evelyn Brooks

How often do you yearn for something just because it is “new”?

I was watching the Israeli movie “Jellyfish” yesterday and one of the characters commented to another, according to the subtitles anyway, “If I get you a new one, will you be happy?”

The comment struck me so much that I quickly wrote it down on a scrap of paper, realizing it might also resonate with others.

Our entire commercial culture rests fully on the idea that a “new one” — no matter what the specifics are — will make us happy. We learn at an early age to be dissatisfied and discontented with our “old” toy or clothes and want what we see on television, in a magazine, newspaper or catalog that comes in the mail. We see the displays in the stores, and we point to the new things, full of yearning for them. We start to connect “new” with magical powers to make us happy.

And even when we realize that the new toy or dress didn’t really change our life that much, the realization doesn’t stop us from always looking for the wonderful new things that will bring us joy.

I’m not saying to stop all buying and sadly make do with what you’ve got. But when you’re stressed out about finances, as so many people are, and you’re rushing to buy happiness in the form of new clothes or a new television you don’t really need, stop that impulsive purchase before you rack up more debt that you can’t afford.

Learn to look at “things” for what they are — enjoy having a new outfit, but only if it’s something that you have the money to buy. Ask yourself if the fun of buying something new is really the thrill you want — and if so, then buy something cheap! Get a new pen or a Chapstick. Scale down the price tag to something that won’t break your account. Have fun doing cheap things with friends like window shopping at the mall while eating a $2 pretzel.

For a lot of folks, the challenge they face is how to still have a good time without getting into trouble with their credit cards. Leave the cards at home, take only the cash you can spare, and treat yourself to an outing that doesn’t cost much. Most cities have parks where you can stroll around and enjoy the free music or entertainment.  Look it up online or in your local community paper — find the museums that have a free day monthly, and plan to go for a visit. You’ll enrich yourself, without breaking the bank.

your happiness guru,

Evelyn Brooks